From Personal Support Worker (PSW) to Personal Support Needed.

The truth hurts.
I constantly find myself pondering how I am supposed to be able to get through the next few months with an abundance of birthday celebrations, our anniversary, and the ever so hectic holidays.
I have found, many entrepreneurs create as a side #hustle, extra income for those slow periods throughout the year, to broaden their horizons; but our small business is my "baby", my reason to live and breathe every day.
What many people may not realize is the sad yet scary reality of the last 12 months of my life and why I've ended up where I am today.. Pleading with our healthcare system for an answer. Any answer.

My body will eventually make the executive decision to stop the constant pain.
To stop breathing all together. I wake up every morning unable to look into the mirror because I no longer recognize the person looking back at me.
Who is she? Where did she come from? She's so #skinny.
What's wrong with her?

The look on a person's face when I tell them that only 12 months ago I was at my heaviest; 250 lbs.
Now; the jaws that drop to when I say I'm currently sitting at an unbelievable 125 lbs.. Priceless.

During my career as a PSW I quickly learned how effective pain medication can be but that it often masks an underlying cause, inflammation, or new symptoms.
Refusing any and all pain medication was the hardest decision I've had to make this far for the sheer fact that I knew what would be in store for me the months ahead. Pain and an abundance of it.

As a woman in her early 30's; more focused than ever to start a family of her own with the love of her life, appears to be nothing but a small glimmer of light in the distance. Almost; obsolete.
Let's face it; Men are simple creatures that cannot begin to understand what a woman goes through on a day to day basis let alone on a monthly basis.
If I could control anything, it would be my emotions.
We all focus on our physical appearance in one way or another; whether it be our wardrobe, hairstyle, makeup, posture, size and perkiness of our breasts, nose size, our glutes, our teeth... Imagine how you would feel if you slowly had it all taken away from you? One by one. I can tell you. It's like a never-ending horror film.
First; my teeth began to chip away one by one. I can no longer fully open or clench my jaw because the pain is so severe.
I can only chew on the left side of my mouth. I will end up losing 5-6 teeth in the very near future.
Doctor's and specialists are all aware but have turned a blind eye the entire time.

Secondly; My eyesight has declined to the point where there are times I am unable to see 2 feet in front of me.
More often than not; I am finding myself talking so quietly it's been described as a "whisper" or talking so loud, loved one's accuse me of being angry with them.

Third; Hair loss. A year ago I had straight, luscious blond locks down to my belly button. Gradually, I've been forced to cut my hair shorter in a attempt to adapt to the new changes I'm forced to deal with. I have to keep my hair short enough to allow my neck to breathe.
Throughout a day, I will sweat or have chills for no reason which causes "blisters" around my lips and hairline.
On top of it all there's also the constant pain, weight loss, fatigue, battles with dehydration, anxiety, depression, irritability, the list goes on.
I've always been able to adapt to the constant changes that were thrown my way but I find it increasingly difficult to be able to accept these changes when we have no answer or explanation for them. Specialists have done most tests that are currently available without a hefty waiting list or price tag attached.
The most FAQ's have been:
What's your secret, How did you do it, What kind of drugs are you on,
Are you starving yourself, What's wrong with you, Is this a cry for help?
Well, I wish I was able to answer that; I can't.
If only the explanation was as simple as a cry for help, a parasite, but doctors have been calling me a #medicalmarvel for the last 6 months now.
After learning to open up to others about my struggles, it helped others relate and open up to what may be something quite similar.
Of course, there are always the individuals who strive off other's misfortunes and struggles but it has only made me more independent, strong willed, creative, unique and observant.
Over 60% of the local artisans that showcase their locally made goods from our home-based boutique does or has been able to relate to what I am going through in the past; whether it be themselves or a watching the suffering of a loved one.
What has been my saving grace is finding "My Tribe".
The group of individuals who support you at your worst.
Who never judge.
Who you can trust.
The people you see yourself with long term; who have your back when other's don't understand.
They're my words when I am unable to talk,
My legs when I'm unable to walk,
My hands when I'm unable to create.
They are key to the success of Countryside Treasures.
We've all had days where we may feel like we're wasting our time pursuing our passion in life but it will always be a struggle; a struggle to succeed for greater, to expand, to financially afford to keep up with the demands of our products but your life is only going to be as great as you make it.
Nobody else can make you happy unless you're truly happy yourself.
Do you what you need to do to achieve that; everything else will only fall into place.
Much Love,
xoxo -Jules ♥

Resources If You're In Need Of Assistance Or Seeking Advice:

Community Resources In Kingston & Surrounding Area:
Kingston Community Health Centres:

Know Your Doctors:
Alternative Options For Care In Kingston & Surrounding Area:
Resolve Councelling Services- Kingston:


Great Articles To Keep You Fueled and Focused:

10 steps to stay motivated when negativity seems to be all around: https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_4941277
11 Ways To Stay Motivated & Focused To Acheive Your Goals:
All-Natural Energy Boosters:


  • buy cialis generic online

  • viagra online prescription

  • https://hcialischeapc.com/ – cialis online pharmacy

  • Viagra Preis Deutschland tiphesee tadalafil cialis Estala Propecia Saw Palmetto Levels

  • Rx Express Canada Drugs tiphesee https://artsocialist.com/ – Cialis Estala Cialis Durata Erezione Seetslor Cialis Sledge Generique Amoxicillin Pharmacie Gratuit Tablette Pour

    cialis price

Leave a comment



Sold Out